


an afternoon's temptation (everything is different with lua)

by WattStalf



Series: Baccano Week 2016 [2]
Category: Baccano!
Genre: Attempted Murder, Baccano Week 2016, F/M, cos i wrote it when i was tryna vent, technically a vent fic i guess, the usual warnings and then some
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-10 09:59:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7840372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WattStalf/pseuds/WattStalf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Don't you ever think about leaving me.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	an afternoon's temptation (everything is different with lua)

**Author's Note:**

> Day Two: Life or Death  
> lmao so I was upset about something when I wrote this and yeah, it ended up kind of a vent? I need to stop doing that  
> Anyway! A lot of the ideas for action come from a roleplay I did with birdschach (he was Lua), and other headcanon discussions with him.

When he watches Lua digging through the cabinet, her back to him and her guard completely down, Ladd struggles. He struggles because in that moment, she is so weak, she is so vulnerable, and she would never even know what was happening until it was too late. He struggles because he is not a patient man and because he has been waiting for so long, and when he thinks that he can have that look on her face, that last breath, and that he can have it when even _she_ is not expecting it...

His knife feels suddenly heavy in his pocket, and he isn't sure if he can resist. So much time has been spent, building up Lua as the perfect victim in his mind, that every time he is presented with an opportunity like this, with nothing to hold him back but his own willpower, he feels himself falter. He rises quietly, and she does not turn to face him; he pulls out the blade, and she does not turn to face him.

Each step he takes is soft, and even if she hears them, she does not think anything of them. His hand is shaking just a little bit, but he knows that he'll be able to steady it when it's time to drive the knife into her back, and he can hear his heartbeat in his ears. Is this really it for her? Will this be the ending that he gives to Lua?

A part of him is reminding him of their promises, of the perfect death he has to deliver to her, of the fact that she deserves better than  _this_ . It has to be special for her, he knows, and even if she is impatient and even if he is impatient, it has to be  _just right_ , just the way he's planned it. He can't go through with it yet, but he presses the tip of the knife to her back anyway, just enough for her to feel it, and he hears her gasp.

“Ladd?”

“You know what that is, right, baby?” he asks, his voice low as he leans into her ear. She nods slowly and he goes on. “You know how close I am right now? You know how easy it would be for me to kill you right here and now?”

“I love you,” she says, her voice soft and so beautifully peaceful. There is so much acceptance in her tone that he always knew would be there when he killed her, that he would never normally want to hear from a victim, but from Lua...with Lua, everything is different and he takes a deep breath, and even though he wants so badly to stab her, here and now, he lets the knife fall.

“Not yet, doll,” he says with a small laugh.

She relaxes, sighing softly, and he can hear the slight disappointment in it. She should know better, though; he certainly does, even if he almost let himself slip. And he really almost let himself slip, didn't he? He shakes his head a bit, stepping back from her, but she turns to embrace him, and he wraps his arms around her, patting her hair. This is the way it's supposed to be for now, and he knows that, but he almost...she had just been so  _vulnerable_ , like she was  _safe_ or something and he forgot, for just a second, that everything is different with Lua.

He can't lose her yet, he thinks, as he tightens his hold on her and holds her so close to him that no one in the world could ever take her away from him. They haven't had nearly enough time together and he hasn't made everything perfect, and if he were to let that all slip away now, everything he's shared with her would count for nothing! He just hasn't had enough time with her, and it isn't time yet, and she deserves a better death than that, a better death...

“Don't you ever think about leaving me,” he snarls suddenly, not sure what's come over him. “Don't you ever even think... _I'm_ the only one who gets to kill you, remember that? You'd better never forget.”

“Ladd, I could never...you promised me...” she says softly, pulling back to look up at him, concern in her eyes. “Is something wrong?”

Of course she can tell that something is bothering him; he doesn't know how, but from the beginning, Lua has been able to read him easier than anyone he has ever known. Everything is different, and she knows him better than anyone else could have ever hoped to, perhaps even himself. He doesn't understand it, and he doesn't understand her, and he doesn't understand how he's ever going to be able to live without her.

“Nothing's wrong,” he mumbles. He's trying so hard not to think, or to at least think about anything else so that he can forget again. “What if you were gonna kill me? How would you do it?” he finally asks.

He expects her to gasp, to step back in surprise, to ask him why on earth he would even think of such a thing, but instead, she just looks up at him for a moment before finally speaking. “Well, you've never told me how you plan to do it, so I suppose it would have to be a surprise from me as well.”

He grabs her shoulders, feeling something akin to panic, and he doesn't understand it and he doesn't understand anything, and he says, in a low and threatening voice, “You have to tell me. I have to know.”

“If I were just going to kill you...” She only pauses for a moment, a contemplative look on her face. “I suppose I'd have to strangle you with your necktie. But that doesn't leave much of an opening for you to kill me, so I'd never want to do that.”

Relief washes over him in such strong waves and he never realized before just how afraid he has been all this time. “Yeah? And what if we were going out together?” he asks.

“That all depends on how you're killing me,” she replies. “It would have to be something we could do together.” She says all of this without a shift in expression, completely unfazed by everything, and he is so in love with her that he can't stand it. He never wants to lose her.

“Atta girl,” he mumbles before kissing her hard and she melts into it, and he is happy to just hold her there, his knife forgotten. Everything is different with Lua, and he knows this, but he _does_ understand her. He thought, for a moment, that he didn't, that he had no hope of it, but even if everything is different with her, that doesn't mean that he can't understand her. In this moment, he understands her so perfectly that he can only think of her as an extension of himself, the most valuable part of himself, the one part of himself that he will never be complete without.

 


End file.
